one for the ages

Ever since graduating from college, I've thought about doing a masters degree at some point. Since being in Virginia, I have done a little research here and there to find a music program that could potentially work! UVa unfortunately does not have one, but James Madison University, JMU, up north in Harrisonburg does. So I figured, why not? What do I have to lose?

So I applied, sent in audio materials and recordings of my recitals and what not, got letters of recommendation, and really put some effort into it. Because if I am going to apply to keep options open, I might as well do it well... right? 

About 2 weeks ago I got an email saying that they would like me to come audition for them, see the school, and they would like to meet me. So for the past 14 days I have whipped some of my pieces back into shape, practiced like crazy, and prepared for my audition.

Well, that audition was today! Want to hear how it went??? 

...

Let me back up and tell you how yesterday morning went down. I was frantically getting ready for work, (Layton was driving me), and me being me of course couldn't leave without having breakfast. And me being me wanted that breakfast to be good even though I was running late. oh dear. So there I was making a green smoothie and peanut butter toast (sounds yummy right?) and I start cutting up an apple to throw in the blender. Of course to save on time... I grab the biggest kitchen knife we own. Chop, Chop, ... AGGGHHHH!

Yep, that was the sound of the knife almost completely cutting off the middle finger of my left hand. Blood is everywhere, Layton is running for a bandaid, and it is a scene! "Should we take you to the hospital for stitches?" Layton asks. Oh wait, I work at the hospital!

So we jump in the car to take me to work, and once there have one of the nurses take a look for me. It wasn't at all as bad as I thought, no stiches required! I guess it was just trauma in the moment that made me feel like my life was over. But wait... what about my audition tomorrow?

...

This morning, Layton and I woke up early to get to Harrisonburg for my audition. I had nursed my cut finger all day and night, and the day after wasn't looking so good. Once at the sight of my audition I found a practice room to warm up. And the darn bandaid I had on kept getting in the way. Should I just go for it? Take the bandaid off and endure the pain? It won't be too bad.... and with reassurance from Layton that's what I decided to do. 

It came time for my audition so I entered the beautiful hall with a beautiful grand steinway up on the stage. A number of the piano faculty sat there in the audience as I sat down to play. I started playing and got through my first two pieces, feeling like it was going pretty well. Then I got to the third piece. I was playing, doing long runs with my right hand when I got to a scale in both hands that ended with a forte note... right on my cut finger.

I felt it reopen.

I kept playing, but my mind was all of a sudden transfixed on my cut finger and I looked at it as often as I could through the next passage... and sure enough there was the blood. 

It streamed out of my finger faster than I thought possible as I kept flying through my piece. The keyboard was turning red as blood oozed out. With the piece being all over the place, blood easily started to cover the majority of the keys. My fingers were now dancing in warm, red, sticky puddles. It started to be flung onto the backboard of the piano, onto my clothing... it was everywhere. And I was in shock. Could this really be happening? Now?! My brain and body were disconnected and I could not believe I was still playing. What else could I do but keep going? Keep bleeding on their $100,000 grand piano? 

"We'll stop you there, you may go onto your next piece."

I looked down after they told me to stop, and wished with all my heart that I could have somehow captured the scene on camera. I couldn't decided whether to cry, laugh, or scream at what looked like an Alfred Hitchcock movie. It looked like a scene from an Agatha Christie novel titled, Murder on the Piano. It was a bloody mess. I turned to look at my (what I thought before could possibly be) future piano instructors and had no choice but to tell them and direct their attention to the remains of the instrument. 

"It seems that I might be bleeding..."

...

Well, what can ya do? I have been in a state of disbelief, and hilarity. I cannot believe that happened!!! I can't believe it! That is one of those things that you joke about before... "oh man what if you started to bleed in the middle of playing and got blood all over their piano!?" "hahahaha oh like that would ever happen.."

It did. 

Of course the faculty were so nice about it. They joked with me about how "I definitely left my mark," or how "they won't forget me." I couldn't tell if they were being genuinely nice, or just felt plain sorry for me.

Either its a sign I am not supposed to go there, or maybe it will show some sort of toughness that will help my case?? I know its a long shot! Maybe I am meant to have this experience to learn and grow and remember to wake up five minutes earlier so breakfast isn't rushed, or to not chop a small apple with a knife twice it's size.  I even said a prayer this morning like I always do before performances, asking Heavenly Father if he would help me do my best. Am I supposed to learn something here!?

When it comes down to it, I think that life just happens. And sometimes there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, but laugh.